The Emperor Wants a Prize

 THE EMPEROR WANTS A PRIZE

The Emperor wants the Nobel Peace Prize.

            He wants to try it on for size.

He thinks he deserves it for the war

            He ended between Abadan and Bezoar.

No one knew they were at war.

            And there were so many more.

There must be six or seven,

            Or maybe ten or eleven.

There was the war between Candyland

            And the fairies of Fairyland.

No one knew they even existed.

            But the Emperor insisted

There were so many wars

            No one  could recall them all.

So, he is the bigliest peacemaker of all time.

            He has ended wars in every clime.

He has ended wars no one knew about.

            And so, without a doubt,

The Emperor deserves the Nobel Peace Prize.

            He wants to try it on for size.

And it had better fit his bigly head,

            Or someone will end up dead.